Pimp Your Finances

Most people go to college to prepare themselves for the future.  But If that’s not the case for you, here are 12 things you can do to sabotage your financial life in college.  Just follow these easy steps to set yourself back for years.

1. Take out more loans than you need

If people are willing to give you money, you should take it!  You’ve got your whole life to pay off loans, so it only makes sense to borrow now.  Don’t worry about how you’re going to make payments after you’ve graduated and are looking for a job.

If you can get loans, you should borrow as much money as you can.  After all, you’re going to college to have fun!  If you’re not eligible for loans, you can always… 

2. Sign up for credit cards without reading the fine print, and use them to party

Colleges wouldn’t allow credit card marketers on campus unless they were a good idea.  If you see one, sign up!  Don’t worry about the fine print – just make sure you get a cool prize for it.  Just like loans, you should sign up for as many as you can!  Sure, opening too many in a short time could hurt your credit, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to build it back up.

Once you have credit cards, make sure to use them to finance your partying.  Just because you’re short on cash doesn’t mean you should have to cut back on your lifestyle.

3. Don’t worry about building job experience

Potential employers will only look at the school you attended, your major, and the grades you got.  They don’t care about real-life experience you’ve built through jobs or projects.  After all, no one has experience when they graduate, so it’ll be a level playing field.  The entry level job market is not competitive.

4. Don’t engage in any extra-curricular or unpaid activities

If employers don’t care about the paid work you’ve done, they certainly won’t care about the non-paid experience you have.  It won’t show a sense or purpose or dedication – it will just show that you’re a sucker.  Why else would you work for free?

5. Don’t waste your money in a Roth IRA

You don’t have a real job, and you may not even be old enough to drink yet.  Why do you need to worry about retirement?  There’s no advantage to starting early.  The money is better spent on alcohol or CDs or movies.

6. Don’t attend job fairs and recruiting events

Let’s face it – job fairs and recruiting events are boring, especially if you’re not about to graduate.  Don’t waste your time with these.  Learning about employers and their needs won’t help you, and neither will the networking.

7. Do insist on staying on campus or in dorms, regardless of the cost

Don’t even consider staying at home while in college!  There is plenty of cheap, high quality housing available on campuses.  Sure, you may save a lot by living at home, but you’ll miss out on some great parties.

8. Make sure you don’t attend public or state universities

Private and prestigious schools are the only way to go.  If you don’t attend the best schools, employers won’t even look at your resume.  Expensive colleges always offer a better deal for the money.

9. Don’t bother doing research before choosing a major

When choosing a major, you should only consider what sounds the most appealing to you.  Don’t do any research about what kind of jobs you can expect in that field.  Just make sure your classes are fun!

10. Don’t get involved in any entrepreneurial projects

Most college start ups fail, and there’s nothing to learn from failures.  You’re better off not wasting the time.  It won’t help you network, build business skills, or impress future employers.

11. Don’t worry about your online reputation

Employers will respect your privacy, and won’t do any research about you online during the interview process.  So don’t worry about those embarrassing pics on Facebook…they won’t find them, and even if they do, I bet they’ll appreciate a sense of humor in applicants.

12. Don’t worry about a career until you’re getting ready to graduate

There is no need to start building a career until after you graduate.  After all, that’s when the job search begins.  Don’t worry about a co-op or an internship.  No one does them, and they’ll cut into your summers or the college experience.

These are the warnings I wish I could go back and give myself on the first day of college.  Unfortunately, I made most of these mistakes.  I racked up credit card debt and wasted loan money by staying on campus and partying.  I didn’t have enough job experience when I graduated because I never bothered to look for an internship or co-op.  The fact that I have a well paying job is due more to luck than anything.

I’m happy with my job now, but I wasted my college years financially.  I didn’t start a Roth IRA, which would have allowed me to take advantage of compound interest.  I racked up credit card debt, which forced me to spend two years paying it off when I could have been saving or investing.

With money, time is your biggest ally.  Don’t waste your precious early years for the sake of having fun.